Absurdity. I'm drunk off my head. Hiccup!

Honest to God. I swear down. Why don't you believe me? My name is
EEENNNGGGlish, I tell you! Here, take my Veeeeeezzzza, it is good no? It is
no
matter if you are a Liverpool fen or a Manchester United fan, but I
am
drunk off
my head! *giggles drunkenly and hic-coughs* Heh.

In case I haven't yet introduced you to drunked guy in the airport, I know have. So there.

Marta once said that all drunken people were drunk. It was just about all she had to say on the matter, since she was drunk herself. That was a night I'll never forget. It all began when... [ARGH]

Kiddies! I have hi-jacked you all! I own each and every stinkin' one of you! Ha! Trolls will take over the world, almost as quickly as I do! N'ya! Death to all who oppose me in my strive for Marta Martasmumsdottir to become ultimate Irish Viking. Ya!

But first of all kiddies, I must tell you something. The puffins, they have returned. Sadly, they contradicted my theory of no puffins, so I went out with my gun and killed everyone of them. Fun!