Hiya!

"...Hello kiddies! I have learned how to access that thing that you
stupid English kiddies know as the inferno-net and have managed to bully Fan #1
and Fan #2 into letting me post. In fact, I stole their access code thingy and
have used this opportunity to reek havok before they change it!..."

"...Over the last few weeks, you vile, disgusting kiddies have abused
your authority over me! All I wanted to do was
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ...
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... learn your language,
which I now speak errrrrrrrr... fluentish. So, I want you to do the same. The
name Marta must be pronounced with as much of a guttaral 'khghkhgh' as possible.
So, we actually say 'Markhghtaaaaaa' when referring to me. It also sounds
suspiscously like Mad Troll, which is actually the results of my surname
'Madtrolls'dottir'. Yes, I knew you knew that too..."

"Alzo, I must add that you kiddies have a, errrrrr, special surprise
today. I habve remembered to bring with me that pair of Fishskin boots which
almost led to our deaths on a previous occasion. [she reaches into her pocket
and pulls out a pair of tiny, 4cm long, fishskin boots] [we all gasp in
amazement and are all thinking exactly the same thing]..."

Suddenly, everyone on the coach is thinking - "Its not a wonder that it took them about 400 pairs to cross a mountain when they're that small!!!!!!!!!"

Ha! What a weirdo